Super Camera Woman confronts Cumming Mayor H. Ford Gravitt
Cartoon created by Brant Meadows for Possum News Channel.
MAYOR FORD: Oh, my gosh! It is that darn camera woman, again. Get out of my way. I have an important, secret meeting with Wade Sullivan and a majority of the county commissioners.
SUPER CAMERA WOMAN: Please, stop right there, Mayor Ford. You will be in violation of the law.
MAYOR FORD: I have had a least five attorneys tell me it is okay to meet with a majority of commissioners in secret.
SUPER CAMERA WOMAN: Sir, why would you violate the law?
MAYOR FORD: If you do not move, I will have the police chief arrest you for a number of unknown reasons. Move along, there is nothing here.
SUPER CAMERA WOMAN: Mayor, you should check with your city attorney before I have to kick your buttocks with my video camera.
MAYOR FORD: If you try to film me, I will pitch a fit and show you who is Boss Hogg.
SUPER CAMERA WOMAN: Respectfully, Mayor, your ways are draconian and it is time for you to go.
MAYOR FORD: I have been mayor since I was five years old. I will not leave office — not ever. I do not care that the Attorney General and the media are on your side.
SUPER CAMERA WOMAN: Why did you unlawfully use your police chief to physically abuse me at your last council meeting?
MAYOR FORD: I will abuse anyone I see fit. If you try to film me in city hall ever again, I will call out the dogs.
SUPER CAMERA WOMAN: If you call out the dogs, I will film the whole thing and get your buttocks in trouble, again.
MAYOR FORD: I will have the law changed so that I can use dogs any time I want and have your roughed up without having your darn video camera catch me.
SUPER CAMERA WOMAN: Are you going to turn off the water supply to the county?
MAYOR FORD: As a matter of fact, I plan to milk the life out of the citizens in the county one drop at a time. You see that water behind you? It will cost you five dollars per cup.
SUPER CAMERA WOMAN: Why are you so greedy and mean?
MAYOR FORD: I am only greedy and mean to people who try to film me and complain about me milking the life out of them.
SUPER CAMERA WOMAN: You don’t scare me one little bit.
MAYOR FORD: If you do not kneel down and kiss my ring right now, I will have the police chief dump this hot pot of coffee all over you. I am pretty sure the law allows me to do this.
SUPER CAMERA WOMAN: Thank you for another video clip. I will have my friends at channel 5 put it on the news at 6 o’clock.
MAYOR FORD: Why, oh why? The horror of it all, the horror of it all!